A permission-giving book for women wanting to reclaim their own version of authentic spirituality and care for their mental health. Written from a uniquely New Zealand perspective and referencing contemporary church controversies, Rose Stanley draws on her lived experience, highlighting how women live, love and serve – sometimes to their detriment – in mainstream Christian communities.

For countless women in faith communities, Sunday morning smiles can mask a different reality: drowning in endless service, overwhelmed by expectations and thinking their exhaustion is simply a spiritual problem requiring more prayer. We’re familiar with terms like gaslighting, people-pleasing and accommodating, but when these behaviours show up in our everyday lives – like in our church communities – they bring deep discomfort and internal conflict.

Rose Stanley has lived this story – blaming herself for not being able to juggle the demands of her life, including work, motherhood and service to her church community; unable to communicate her emotional needs, and wondering if this is really what God wants.

In the wake of New Zealand's recent faith controversies – from Arise Megachurch to Gloriavale – Sacred and Sane asks a crucial question: why do women of faith give of their time, resources and energy to the degree that their mental, familial or relational health is compromised?

Rose provides six practical pillars in this honest guide and empowers the reader to build trust and confidence in themselves, to gauge what a healthy, safe community looks like and navigate their own faith journey; one which recognizes their individuality, unique circumstances and seasons of life.

Sacred and Sane isn't about choosing between faith and sanity — it's about discovering you can have both.

“This is a generous and compassionate book.” - Fleur Beale, author of Faraway Girl, The Calling, Lyla, Sins of the Father